


The Phoenix Shall Rise Again

by InannaAthanasia



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Declarations Of Love, Drama & Romance, F/M, Falling In Love, Forced Marriage, Friendship/Love, Love Confessions, Rape Aftermath, Sexual Content, Sexual Fantasy, Sexual Tension, Sexual Violence, True Love, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-27
Updated: 2015-02-01
Packaged: 2018-03-09 08:10:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3242495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InannaAthanasia/pseuds/InannaAthanasia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vespera  Trevelyan is a Warrior who has been betrayed since she was a child by all the men in her life. She doesn't want to be the Herald and doesn't believe in the Maker either. Then she sees the information about her past in Leliana's report and feels sick knowing all will see it. She has enough and is ready to just lay down and die, but fate intervenes in the form of Commander Cullen and she feels a small sliver of hope that she has met at least one good man.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am going to be adding chapters as time goes on. I don't know how often tho.

They called her the Herald of Andraste. They said she was the one chosen by the Maker to bring order back to the world of Thedas. Her, Vespera Trevelyan, the chosen one. She doubted that the Maker or the pure Andraste would ever pick someone as broken as her to be a holy champion. Everyone believed it, everyone but her. Andraste was a woman of conviction, a woman so beautiful and pure that the Maker himself took her as his heavenly bride. She was not even good enough to be Andraste’s arse wiper, let alone some kind of equal. No they can think all they want, but Vespera knew the truth, it was just a stupid accident that put her in this spot, nothing divine at all. She didn’t even believe in the Maker truthfully, how could she? After all she lived through, after the nightmares she was forced to call her life and all the begging she did to the Maker, she came to a conclusion. Either the Maker didn’t exist or she wasn’t worth his time to help. But no one wanted to hear her opinion, no one would listen. She didn’t want to be the Inquisitor and didn’t want to be anyone’s leader. Someone better than her should be their leader. Sure she could still be the one to close the rifts but that didn’t mean she should be their leader.

Her head was hurting again. The headaches were getting worse and they were causing her to be even angrier about this whole situation. Her so called Advisors were making her nuts as well. Earlier she was wandering the area where Leliana kept her birds and found papers with her name on them. The spymaster had been collecting information about her. As she read through she felt the hot tears streak her face. In detail it told of her past. She shook with pain as she read the details of the attacks as a child. The brutality of the men in her life, the sickness they forced into her soul. Then she saw the name that haunted her to this day, the mage who raped and killed her Mother for the blood in her veins and what he had done to the young Vespera who was only saved from death a Templar who found them. Her father in his great grief for the loss of his wife married a girl barely older the Vespera a week later and locked his daughter away so he could dote on the children he had with his new wife. He wanted to marry her off, but knew no one wanted a “tainted” bride. Her only moments of happiness were when he allowed her to go to the Chantry and that was where she met the Templar. He was much older than her and she found a Father figure in him. He taught her to fight, to defend herself with a sword arm that even the other Templar’s had trouble matching. But the worse part in the notes was the part about the man she saw as a new Father, decided the 16 year old Vespera was needed in his bed. Another man to use her and when she resisted, he took anyway and then took her to her Father claiming she had crawled into his bed and she was obviously evil and could never go back to the Chantry. Her Father had been furious. He probably would have killed her had her Mother’s family not been there to visit her grave on their way through Ostwick. They were a very powerful family with connections the Cousland’s of Fereldan. They helped her best they could and with her Mother’s family having so many members in the Chantry, both Clerics and Templar’s alike, they helped her enter a nearby Chantry. For the first time in her life, she found peace. Then the Mother asked her to go to the Conclave to be her eyes and ears and her only moments of happiness were gone forever. It was bad enough how things were already, but now she knew everyone would know of her past, the other advisors and her so called inner circle. The only good thing in it all was maybe they would take away her Inquisitor title and give it to someone worthy.

It was late at night and she was in her room. She hated this room they gave her. It was for a woman of class, a woman who would be a symbol of the hope for all, someone other than herself. The room had a balcony area overlooking the bed. It was up there that she slept on the floor and where she kept her personal possession. She liked that it had only a small ladder to get up to and she could pull it up behind her. With no access and her sword beside her, she would actually feel safe when she slept. She laid there watching it rain and finally broke down. Her headache was making her feel as if the walls were closing in on her she had to leave. She debated on if she should change or not, as she only wore her under cloth and an oversized tunic top. She realized that somewhere deep inside she was hoping the weather might kill her. She couldn’t handle being around all these noble and good people. She didn’t belong. Her head was hurting so much now that all she wanted was to not feel any more pain and she was afraid there was only one way to do so.

The rain was bitter cold, but she didn’t care. Somehow the numbing in her arms and legs felt good, even her headache was going away. She hadn’t been sleeping well and the cold rain seems to call to her as she climbed the steps to the battlements. Looking out across the sky, she found herself getting sleepy and she slid to the ground and fell asleep.

Cullen wasn’t sure what woke him, but for some reason he couldn’t go back to sleep. Leliana had given him her report on the Herald earlier. He had been shocked when he read it. He knew there was evil in the world, Maker he had seen enough himself, but he had actually cried when he read her history. How much evil can one person endure? He had even more respect for the woman then before. She was truly worthy of being their leader. She had a strength that left stunned. What he endured during the Blight had been a joke compared to her life. It had been hell for him to go forward and that had been only a few weeks of misery. This woman had endured a lifetime of misery and yet there she stood alone against the world. He admired her even more. But now he knew why she would not look him in the eye when they spoke and why she would not let him near her either. Between being a man and a Templar, he was pretty much her idea of a living nightmare.

Cullen realized he was not going back to bed and decided to take a stroll. It was only just beginning to get light out and knew there would be no one up and about. He dressed in his training clothing, leather pants, and tunic top with a doeskin sleeveless coat over it. Rolling up his sleeves he added his leather bracers so he could train later. Walking out of his tower he noticed a woman slouched to the ground. When he realized it was the Inquisitor he panicked and ran to her. Please don’t be dead he thought over and over again. She was completely soaked and her skin actually had a bluish tint to it. Thankfully she was still alive but freezing. What was she doing out here he thought as he picked her up? He knew she needed to get warm fast and decided since they were close to his tower, he would put her in his bed and bank a fire. Once she was warmer, then he could see that she got to her own room. He felt terrible that he had to throw her over his shoulder to climb the ladder to his bed and thought once more that only a complete idiot would build floors this far apart. Whoever designed Skyhold was a twit or a masochists or hell maybe both. He laid her in his bed and piled as many blankets and furs that he had on top of her. He grabbed a towel and started drying her black as night hair. She only wore it in a messy bun on top of her head but seeing it down now it shimmered an almost sliver highlight to it. It was also softer than any silk he had ever felt before. For the first time he really studied her features. She had high cheekbones and slightly slanted eyes. He wasn’t truly sure of the color since she had never allowed him close enough to look at them. He knew they were light, but that was about it. She has skin that was darker in tone and from carrying her and seeing her bare legs he knew she was naturally that tone. Or she liked to lay out in the sun naked to tan he thought and then quickly blushed for even thinking it. Maker’s breath what an idiot he could be. Thankfully this time it was in his head and no one was around to see his blush either. Getting up he took one more look at her and noticed she had extremely full lips that he really wanted to kiss. He also noticed she was very petite and was maybe shoulder height to him. But her body was extremely muscular and fit. Her wet top with nothing under it let him see all of her in detail. Wearing nothing to flatten her chest he also notice she was busty and had all the perfect curves. He had liked it…too much. However now that he knew her past he would make sure he kept his attraction down. He didn’t want her to see him as another man who wanted to use her; she had enough of them for a lifetime. Also, with the age difference between them she might view him like the Templar who tried to hurt her. Mind you he was not _that_ old, but he thought he was around10 yrs older he would guess. Sighing to himself, he took one more passionate look at her and then went down to his desk to start his daily reports.

She woke up slowly and was so comfortable. The bed she was in was so soft and under the pile of blankets and furs she could have spent all day here. There was a scent that clung to the sheets too. It was spicy and a type of musk that made her want to bury her nose deep into it. She snuggled into the bed deeper and for a brief moment she felt happy for once, but it was then that she heard voices below her and she began to get scared as to whose bed she was actually in. She looked at her clothing and realized she was almost naked. Sitting up, she felt ill and grabbed a bowl on a stand next to the bed and threw up. She was shaking hard and prayed she didn’t have sex with whoever bed she was in

Cullen heard movement above him and smiled that she was awake, however he then heard what sounded like crying and her getting sick. Worried he dropped what he was reading and climbed up the ladder as quick as he could.

“Vespera, are you OK?” he asked rushing over to her.

Vespera shook. She was in Cullen’s bedroom? He seemed like the only man she had met who might actually be decent, but obviously he was like all the others.

“What did you do to me last night?” she said with venom.

“Www what?” he stammered

“I am in your bed almost naked. What did you do to me?” she demanded. She saw Cullen turn deeply red and drop his gaze from her to stare at his feet.

“Uh no, no no no…I uh found you passed out in the morning cold and when I went outside and I was afraid if you didn’t get warm fast you might get sick or something and so I put you in here to make sure you got warm and uh, well…”

She actually smiled. Cullen almost seemed more like a boy than a man sometimes. She also believed him. She was letting her past make him into someone evil, when he actually had been nothing but kind to her. Most of the time he wouldn’t even make eye contact with her which she found almost endearing. Then she remembered Leliana’s report. Her taint, her unworthiness and she reminded herself of whom and what she really was. Angry, she jumped up from the bed meaning to walk past him. She saw however him turn deep red and open his mouth as he acted stunned. What was he gawking at? Then she looked down. She was wearing a thin shirt and no breast band; her nipples were very obviously hard and pushing forward. She also realized the shirt had been pushed up and under which left one side of her belly and hip exposed and her under cloth pushed down where a small strip of her black hair in the center of her body was visible. Quickly she grabbed a blanket and covered herself up.

Cullen didn’t know what to do. Seeing her like that was wrecking havoc on him. He thought she looked good when he laid her in his bed,but now with her hair all tussled and breasts loose and her nipples so obviously hard, he thought he would pass out from the sheer overload of hormones rushing dangerously through him at that moment. He hated himself, but he felt himself go instantly hard. Maker he wanted to throw her back on his bed and worship every inch of her body.

“Why are looking at me like that?” she demanded He looked at the floor.

“Forgive me My Lady, I don’t mean to be disrespectful…I really don’t, it’s just your uh a um beautiful woman and uh…Maker’s breath I will just shut up and go back downstairs and you can take my cloak over there and wear it back to your room.”

And then he turned to leave.

“Stop” she said shyly “Turn around Cullen”

Slowly he did but kept his eyes to the floor. She smiled at that and slowly walked up to him.

“Tell me truthfully something Cullen”

“Anything My Lady”

“You read the report from Leliana “ she paused “and you still see a woman who is beautiful, not a broken piece of trash?”

Slowly raising his eyes to hers he swallowed before speaking. Even then his voice shook.

“Yes I did read it” he told her honestly “and I see a woman who strength amazes me. A woman who is stronger than any man I have ever met. “

He paused and brought his eyes back up to hers and realized they were a strange mix of a pale blue and grey and spoke.

“When the Blight happened, I was tortured for weeks by blood mages in the Ferelden circle. I allowed a few weeks of torture, which was only mental, to turn me into someone who treated many poorly because of it. I spent 7 yrs in Kirkwall punishing so many for things they didn’t do or didn’t deserve.” He paused and then continued “but I see what happen to you and I realized what I went through was a blink of an eye. It was nothing and yet here you are. You have done things that none of us could ever hope we could do. You have saved thousands with closing rifts. Hell you went into the damn future and found out what Corypheus was planning and then came back and stopped him. You are amazing and I, um, well …I..I... I admire you” and he blushed once more.

She looked at him. Really looked at him for the first time and realized her first thoughts about him were right, he was a decent man. Suddenly she had the desire to kiss the scar on his lip. She was shocked at herself, never in her life had she ever wanted to kiss any man. She was afraid to touch any man truthfully. Smiling, she laid her hand to the side of his face and stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek.

“Thank you Cullen. You give me hope.” She pulled the blanket around her and started for the ladder.

“Hope for what?” he turned and asked her.

“Hope that maybe I do have a place here after all”

Cullen watched as she walked away and smiled. He had told her he admired her and he did. What he didn’t tell her was that in all these months they had been together working so hard side by side, that he was also falling in love with her. He admired her strength, he was falling in love with her soul and he definitely desired her body. She was so much more than any woman he had ever met before and he prayed that she learn to trust him because he would never allow anyone to ever hurt her again.

 


	2. Nixi is Born

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A month has passed since the morning Cullen found her on the battlements. She has slowly started opening up more to her fellow companions. Invited to the Tavern, Varric tries to come up with a nickname for their leader.

She was slowly beginning to feel better about being the Inquisitor. She still didn’t like being called Herald of Andraste or her Worship, but Inquisitor was becoming less painful. She also was slowly opening up to those she worked with. She refused to speak to Leliana outside of the war room for what she felt was a not needed intrusion into her past, although she did learn that only the advisers and Cassandra had seen it. She really didn’t like Cassandra much either with her Maker this and Maker that talk. She made her feel like she was being hounded to accept the Maker. Maybe Faith was good for her, but she needed to accept not all believed. Although whenever she shut up about the Maker, Cassandra was OK and she respected her fighting skills as well. She got the closest with the Mage Dorian, that once she learned he preferred male partners to female she was actually able to have a friend she really felt “safe” with. His wit would often make her smile. She also found the Dwarf Varric funny, especially when he was with Sera or Bull or better yet both together. She never knew life could be so fun and it was fun. The evil going on in the world right now? She could handle that, she never knew life without evil, but friends? People to laugh with? It was fun yet scary too. The one person she really didn’t like was the one called Cole. He saw things and said things she did want to even know herself, let alone anyone else.

She had been invited by Varric to have a drink with them and relax. He told her she was not allowed to say no. It had been a month since the morning she woke in Cullen’s bed and he had managed to make her feel good for the first time in her life. She had started watching him train with his recruits and was impressed with his skill. Then one day he asked her if she wanted to train with her. When they sparred he never held back and fought her as hard as any man he trained. That was a turning point for her. He respected her as a Warrior and that small bit of respect went a long way in changing her views on the man. His recruits liked to tease him that the tiny spitfire could take down the Commander, their Commander. She smiled with the memory as she walked now to the tavern. She found herself actually smiling. She wanted to argue with herself that Cullen was a man and men could never be trusted, but somehow he wasn't just a man anymore, he was Cullen.

She went into the tavern and spotted Varric right away. He was telling one of his outrageous tales that nobody should ever believe. Everyone in the tavern was laughing and drinking. Seeing her enter Varric motioned her over.

“And here we have our leader”

“We need a nickname for her too Varric, something strong and powerful" Bull said

“Oh no, no nicknames for me. I already have more names then I care to have now” she told him.

"Its all good, Lady Inquisitor needs something thats classy and stuff" Sera piped in,

Cullen was watching her intently and she actually felt heat crawling into her cheeks.

“How about Phoenix?” Cullen said.

“Why Phoenix?” she asked him

“Because a Phoenix has where one life is over and then it rises from its own ashes to fly again. They are strong and beautiful” then he blushed and looked slyly to the side.

“How about Nixi, slang for Phoenix?” Varric mused “The Phoenix idea is good Curly, but it just doesn't have the right flow for her and our leader is a one of a kind and her name needs to be as unique as her.”

“That’s she is and I think Nixi sounds wonderful”Cullen hid a bit behind his tankard and tried not to look too embarrassed and added.

Vespera smiled and thought again how much different Cullen was from any man she had ever met before.

“Then Nixi it is O fearless leader” and with that Varric held his mug up and everyone cheered.

 


	3. Love Declared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adamant Leaves Vespera with nightmares from the Demons trying to hurt her. But one night in the Western Approach with Cullen and he puts her fears at ease and suddenly a spark happens and their relationship changes.

It had been a week since Adamant and she was still shaken from her time in the Fade. The only good part was that everyone had stopped with the Herald of Andraste and Maker saved her talk. Now they knew it had been just a random moment that created her, nothing more or less. As thankful as she was for that to be cleared up, being in the Fade had left even more scars on her Soul. When she found out that others were seeing their own fears, it made her thankful that the others had not seen what she had. As they moved through it there were mirrors everywhere. Each one she touched made her feel stronger and more focused, but it also showed her glimpses of her fears. One was haunting her in her sleep and sometimes while even awake. She saw the night the Templar who trained her tried to rape her and when she got away he took her to her Father and lied that it was her he caught trying to crawl into his bed. She had only been 16. But in the Fade when she saw those memories, the Templar had been replaced with Commander Cullen. Now that they were home again, she had nightmares of Cullen throwing her in his bed. It was Cullen she saw ripping her clothes off and trying to beat her to her knees in front of him. It was always Cullen and it was killing her. They had become somewhat friends. He helped her hone her fighting skill to the point he laughed that he helped trained her better than he did himself, as she constantly bested him. They had started playing chess together and she only lost when she let him win. He gave her confidence and now because of Demons in the Fade she was losing it too. Since her return she avoided him and she knew it hurt him. She could see the hurt in his eyes when she wouldn’t look at him as she turned down training, chess or the long walks around the keep they took while talking. It wasn’t fair to him, but she couldn’t tell him, she just couldn’t. She knew something had been growing between them and she was well aware that they had had a mutual attraction, but now it was gone. She reasoned it was a good thing too, because she was to broken to be with any man, let alone someone as good as him.

By week two, her state of being was quickly going downhill. She couldn’t sleep without nightmares wrecking her. She saw her past with Cullen inserted and now her mind was making up scenario’s that never happen to her that as unlikely as possible, where actually more brutal then what had actually happened to her. She had dark rings under her eyes and looked pale. She was even experiencing some of her hair falling out as well. She spiraling out of control and didn’t know what to do. She was so weak that when she closed a rift she would pass out and not wake up for a few days later. She was killing herself and she knew it. She wanted to get past it, but didn’t know how. There was no one she could talk to either.

Cullen knew something was wrong. For the past 2 months the Inquisitor and he had become friends. They spent a lot of time talking and training together. They would go on walks and talk for hours. But now she wouldn’t even meet his gaze and refused to speak to him outside the war room. What had he done to change it? He knew he was in love with her and was having very passionate dreams about him too. He had never wanted to be with any woman as much as he had with her. But he had tried to keep it to himself. He knew he could not have her as his lover, so he accepted to have her as a friend was better than not having her in his life at all. Did he do something that she had guessed his feelings? He needed to know and since she wouldn’t speak to him, he decided to do the improper and terrible intrusion into her and ask Cole. He felt like a horrible person, but he saw the dark rings and the fact she was losing weight and knew she was spiraling out of control. Even if he couldn’t save their friendship, he had to try and save her.

“She hurts. Hurts inside, its deep. She wants to believe you are a good man but the dreams haunt her. She sees the Templar hurt her and now he wears a new face. She once found happiness in that face, but now your face terrifies her.”

Cullen wasn’t sure what to say. But Cole had more.

“In the Fade the demons played tricks. Mean tricks. I don’t like what they did to her. She feels fear. Pain. She hurts. I can’t make it better. I tried and failed. I don’t fail, but her I did.”

Maker, he thought, they made her see him as her tormentor in the Fade? How does someone fight that?

“Fight it, show her you care. Heal her. I can’t, I failed. You can heal, you already have”

“Thank you Cole”

“Be there for her nightmares. Show her you are there to care when she wakes. Put the Templar face back and get yours back too.”

Cullen wondered how he could be there for her after the nightmares. If he rushed in her room while sleeping she would likely kill him. So how do I help he wondered.

Two days later he found a way. They had reports of large movements Red Templar’s in the Western Approach along with new Fade rifts. They were deciding what approach would be best. Cullen saw his chance.

“I will take a troop of men to investigate and hopefully wipe out the Templers. The Inquisitor with take a small group and go with us. Once we verify with the scouts on site, we can clear out the Templers and give clear access for her party to get to the rifts without having to worry about Templers attacking”

She looked up at Cullen. Be in a close group with him for weeks on end? She couldn’t breathe and felt like the walls were closing in. She had to get out of there.

“It’s a good plan Commander” Leliana spoke up. “Then it’s settled. Pick your group Inquisitor and we’ll leave at dawn” and then he walked out.

She rushed to her room, hoping no one saw her tears. She didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t say to anyone why she couldn’t be so close to Cullen.

The Western Approach was a beautiful area. She loved the desert as it was so different than anywhere she had ever lived. She also loved Griffon Wing Keep. She liked to stand up on the tower where they flew the Inquisition flag and just look out over the land. She decided tonight she would sleep up here to; it reminded her of her loft at Skyhold and made her feel a bit safer.

She was asleep, but was she dreaming? She heard the door open and saw him. He drags her out of bed. I taught you how to be the best swordsman little girl, now I will teach you how to be a woman he says huskily. He licks his lips. She screams. It is Cullen’s face but someone else voice. She is screaming but no one hears. She feels arms about her. But she sees him standing in front her, not hold her. Is there someone else in her room? She hears someone telling her it’s OK and feels the arms rocking her. What is happening? She opens her eyes and sees Cullen, but they are not in her room in the Chantry and he is not wearing a Templar uniform.

“What are you doing?”

He hears the fear in her voice. “It’s going to be OK Vespera, you had a dream. I know you see me, but the real me is here and I will protect you I swear it!”

She didn’t know what to say. Inside her mind was screaming to get away from him. But something also demanded she stay. His arms didn’t feel cruel like all the others, instead they felt safe. She slowly raised her head to look in his eyes; they glowed with a rich amber color and seemed to see through her. She shivered as he raised his knuckles to lightly trace the side of her face.

“You are so beautiful and so strong; I am in awe of you My Lady. I know you are strong enough to take on anything, but if you ever need more, I would lay down my life for yours, I swear it!” and then he blushed “I’m sorry, I sound like an idiot.”

He loosened his arms and began to pull away, and then felt her hand on his cheek. Turning he looked back into her eyes.

“Cullen, I think you’re amazing. You are so much more than I ever thought I man could be. Thank you” She lightly traced his face and then his scar.

“How did you get this scar? Was it in battle?”

He was having a hard time breathing while she traced the lines of his face, almost like she was trying to memorize them. He swallowed hard.

“I wish it was something of a battle scar” he chuckled “but it is far more embarrassing. It was a year after the battle in Kirkwall. We were trying to pull the city back together. I was promoted to Knight-Commander and I wasn’t sleeping well. So many nights I would strip next to the bed and fall face first on the bed and be out cold.” He noticed she blushed when he said he would strip and smiled “So I hear this noise I thought was a fight and jumped out of bed and proceed to trip over my armor. Next thing I know I do a nose dive and hit the tip of my sword sitting on the table. I am probably lucky I didn’t blind myself.”

She laughed a deep laugh and asked about the fight.

“Well I grab a towel for my face and rush out the door. The fight I heard was actually to young recruits playing around and one tripped and fell against the wall. Not exactly my finest hour”

She laughed again. Cullen was so special. She also realized she had snuggled down into his arms and liked the feeling of him there. She slowly raised her hand up into his hair and watched as his golden locks wrapped around her fingers. No wonder Varric called him Curly. As she stared at her, never breaking eye contact, she felt a sudden rush of courage and leaned up to kiss him.

Cullen needed to no encouragement and attacked her mouth with more passion than he was even aware he had. Her lips where so soft and she smelled so good, felt so well. She laid her hands against his mouth and felt the muscles moved as he kissed her. Then she felt the panic come out. A man was kissing her, it would lead too…she pulled away.

“Shh Vespera, it’s only me, no cruel person from your past, just Cullen, the Cullen who belongs to you, now and always”

She blinked her eyes at him and then saw something, something deep in those warm amber eyes that told her she could trust him. He would never do anything without her consent. She also knew that if she told him no, he would never touch her again and still care. Suddenly, she felt alive again. No alive for the first time she amended. She sat up and turned. She quickly crawled into his lap with her legs on either side of his hips. Looking at him for a moment she attacked his mouth while running her hands through those soft curls of his. She heard him moan into mouth. Then he kissed her back passionately. His hands shot up her legs and then to her back. He devoured her. He tasted wonderful and the scent she had smelled all those months ago in his bed invaded her senses. As a warrior she never knew what magic felt like, but she thought, it would feel like this.

He nibbled her lips and then down her neck. He slide one hand up her side and then slowly brushed her breast. She responded by sliding closer to him and sliding her core against the straining reaction he was having in his pants. She was tempting him to do more, but not here. No the first time he made love to her would be perfect. In a bed, no chance of anyone seeing or hearing anything and the ease of having hours to worship her body, not a couple of quick thrusts in the dark to get done before others woke up. She deserved more.

“Vespera, please you have to stop. You’re a very tempting woman and Maker knows I have dreamed about this more than I should ever admit, but this is not the right place.”

She looked at him for a moment.

“Thank you Cullen, but please touch me some. I want old memories gone and only thoughts of you in my mind. Please, please touch me some” she pleaded with him.

Maker I am a weak, weak man Cullen thought. He nodded and said “But when I say we need to stop, we will, OK?”

“Yes" she said breathlessly

He moved them over to her bed roll and placed her against the wall while his back was shielding her if someone did wake and look up. Then slowly he undid her shirt and peeled it back. She quickly undid her breast band for him and pulled it off. She smiled at the sharp intake of breath. He couldn’t believe how beautiful she was in the soft glowing light. Slowly he raised his hand to softly touch one breast; it was perfect in his hand. Her skin was so soft. He leaned over and took one taunt nipple into his mouth and drew it hard as his hand slid down her stomach. He felt her move and realized she had unbuttoned her leggings and slid them down her hips. Maker help me Cullen thought, I am going to die when I have to stop. Lifting his head he was kissing her once more. Then he felt her hand slid against him and groaned. She was stroking him through his pants. He started rubbing himself against her hand and found he was getting more turned on by the second. This had to stop. He pulled away from her and looked over his shoulder. There was no one moving and he could hear no one speaking. Looking back at her he was shocked. She had pulled her leggings completely off and laid before him naked with only her open shirt on.

“Maker help me” he swore.

She smiled and took his hand in hers and slid it down between her legs. She was so incredibly wet. She held his hand between her slick folds and began rubbing herself against his fingers, shamelessly pleasuring herself. He pulled his hand up and slowly licked his fingers as they looked at each other. She tasted better than he ever dreamed. She had her hand inside his pants and gripped him firmly as her other hand undid his pants.

“Please Cullen” she whispered “I could die any day in any battle. Let me once know what love feels like.”

Cullen once more thought he was a very weak, weak man and with a groan he swung over her body and slid himself into her. They both groaned and he thought this is not going to last very long. He felt her wrap her legs tight around his hips encouraging him deeper and once more she ravaged his mouth.

Then she felt a burn somewhere inside of her she didn’t understand. She felt like she was floating, no almost dizzy and the heat in her center was so hot, yet it felt good, no great. It felt like something was building but she didn’t understand what it was, but she didn’t want it to stop as she panted harder and harder. What was happening? Then she felt it crest and she felt a wave of heat run rampant in her body. She felt like she was spinning and then darkness took her.

Cullen exploded deep in her. It wasn’t the first time he had ever had sex, but he never felt anything like this. He looked down at her and she had her eyes close and breathing lightly. A part of him had a streak of pride that she soared so high she passed out. He kind of chuckled and thought even he had a bit of dog in him that he enjoyed he had did this to her. Not wanting to move, but not wanting to risk them being found, he rolled off her and did up his pants. She rolled over and curled up in a ball, giving him a great view of round hips and a very round bottom. When they got back to Skyhold he was going to worship each and every inch of this woman for a night, hmmm or maybe a night and day.

As much as he hated it, he needed to wake her up and get her dressed before dawn came. Slowly he woke her, not wanting to scare her.

“Cullen? Why are you…?” then her cheeks went red as she remembered what just happened between them.

"Is it always like that?" she asked "I never felt like that at the end before. Will it always feel like that?"

"With us? Yes it will. It should always feel like that"

He smiled at her and she was all struck by the man’s beauty and heart. He was so amazing. She smiled at him and laid her hand to his cheek.

Cullen couldn’t help but grin like an idiot for the rest of the day. Varric commented often but Cullen only said it was a good day. Varric wasn’t sure how being in a hot desert with sand in places it should not be was a good day but maybe Curly was comparing it to that damn rift they closed earlier.

Soon Cullen and his troops went after a large group of Darkspawn they had spotted while Vespera and her group closed another rift which led them to this strange guy in the desert looking for a dragon. Who in their right mind wants to find a dragon? Of course Vespera was instantly interested. She liked nothing better than fighting.

She was impressive when she fought, he had to give her that one. The woman could wield a sword better than the Guard Captain of Kirkwall and Aveline seriously scared him to this day. But the Inquisitor was an artist; she could inspire anyone to fight by her.

So off they went on a billion stupid run arounds getting everything needed to lure the dragon. Varric groaned because here they were baiting a dragon. He told her to wait for Cullen and his men, but no, she didn’t need him to kill a dragon. When the beast landed Varric thought he might fall over dead and in a blur he saw Vespera rush the beast. Bull of course was happier than anyone ever saw him and Blackwall just loved to fight. Cullen’s group came over the hill by the end of the fight and he witnessed Vespera jump on the beast neck and stab her sword through its head. Laughing she jump down and Blackwall picked her up and swung her around cheering with Bull. Cullen saw red at the warden’s handling of her and rush his horse down the hill as fast as it would go.

“Cullen, Cullen!” she yelled.

She watched as he slipped from his horse and she jumped into his arms and kissed him. Shocking everyone, including him. Then she let go and started jumping up and down excitedly telling him about the dragon and how much it was worth all the run around to get it lured into the open.

Bull threw back his head and laughed and said “this is why I love you Boss, you find us good fights!”

Varric didn't miss the red on Curly's cheeks and told himself to ask the Commander about what happened last night.


	4. The Sins of a Father

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vespera and Cullen have openly committed to a relationship and found happiness with each other. Its seems like life is perfect until her Father shows up with a shock no one sees coming. By the end, Cullen is on the verge of violence and for very justified reasons.

It had been a Month since that night in the Western Approach. A Month since Cullen and Vespera shared a moment that changed everything for her. When they returned to Skyhold, the withdrawn and sad Vespera was gone. Now she smiled more and had more confidence. Cullen couldn’t help but smile each time someone commented on her new behavior and would only say that something good must have happened to her in the desert. For the first time in a long time, life felt good.

After the ball and helping Empress Celene keep her throne, Cassandra, Leliana and Josephine caught Vespera and Cullen dancing on the balcony and realized exactly why the two acted so happy. While Cassandra had not approved at first, over time everyone agreed that the two deserved some happiness in this dark world. Plus, both stayed professional and kept what was blooming between them from interfering with Inquisition business. Everything seemed to be progressing perfectly, until the late afternoon she held court and gave judgments and Lord Edmond Trevelyan and guest were announced.

Cullen had started standing to the side her throne during such sessions for support as well as defense. Seeing the Commander in full plate Inquisition armor with his hand always resting on his sword did much to keep those before the throne from doing anything incredibly stupid. However as Vespera’s Father, along with 2 other men, approach her, Cullen’s hand on his sword tightened to the point of pain. He wanted desperately to cut down the man for all the pain he caused his daughter.

“My Lord Trevelyan, how kind of you to visit the Inquisition sir” she said quietly.

“My Daughter, you are looking well” he said as he approached the throne, meaning to touch her.

“Stand back sir” Cullen sneered”no one touches the Herald and you will bow before her as well”

“Yes, of course. My apologies, I haven’t seen my daughter in sometime and was carried away”

As if, Cullen thought. The Bastard deserved a knife in the gut for what he did to Vespera, but as long as he kept himself in check, Cullen would allow him to speak. He still would keep a close eye on him, but he would behave…for now. Cullen also noticed one of her Fathers companions leering at Vespera with a grin like he could taste her and Cullen felt his blood boil.

“What brings you to Skyhold Father?” Vespera asked quietly, “It has been sometime since we last spoke.”

“Only to see you and bring you some personal news as well, which we can speak of in private later. I must say you are looking lovely daughter. Never have you shined so much. Don’t you agree Stephen?” he said to the companion who stared at Vespera.

“She is even more beautiful than you described my Lord”

Vespera wore a gown of deep burgundy silk that had a bodice of perfect black pearls sewn into it. The sleeves hung off her shoulders slightly with large puffs, slashed with black velvet. The lower arms were covered in black lace. She wore no jewelry except gold locket that held the coin Cullen had given her for luck in it and a small crown like headpiece that was topped with the Inquisition symbol. The outfit and crown had been a gift from Cullen to convey her status when she held court. He had told her he chose the color to showcase her lovely skin and ebony hair to perfection. He had also told her that she would have every man in Thedas wanting her and he would enjoy knowing she belong to him just as he belonged to her. However humorous they had been that day, he now found the obvious lusty look form Stephens face to not be funny at all.

“Any business you have with me, Father, must be stated here. I do not hold private meetings with Lords. Those are for royalty alone.”

That’s it love, Cullen thought proudly, knock the jerk down a peg or two…or on the floor would be even better.

“Alright my dear” this is not the same girl I remember thought her Father.

“You know that as your Father, and head of house Trevelyan, it is my duty and right to pick a suitable husband for you. I come to present Lord Stephan Moore to you. The bans have already been waived be and approved by the Chantry. In Two days time we will celebrate the union.”

Vespera was actually speechless. Did she have to do what he says? Did he have the right? Or since the Inquisition answered to none, especially the Chantry, was she able to say no? Of course it would be a no, what was she thinking. She loved Cullen and her. No one was coming between that, especially this man who claimed to be her Father. She looked around the hall, everyone was staring. Even Josephine was silent, looking shocked and she always had something to say. Cassandra had stood up and had her hand on her sword. What do I say she thought?

“Come daughter and greet your soon to be husband properly.”

Stephen approached her and held out his hand. Supporting a cocky grin the man walked right up to her and reached for her. Cullen cut him off quickly stepping between her and this arrogant man.

“I have never needed to repeat myself, but you are obviously slow witted and therefore I will. No one touches the Herald. Stand back or I cut you down where you stand” for added effect he started to draw his sword.

“Lady Trevelyan, you would let a guardsman speak to a Lord in this Hall in such a crude way? I demand he is removed” Stephan spoke with venom.

For the first time, Vespera smiled.

“He is not a guardsman you fool. This is Commander Cullen, Leader of the Inquisition forces. He is here to make sure no one tries anything one may regret later”

“Commander or not, he is a commoner and should not speak to us as such” her Father roared “I demand he be removed so we can speak”

Josephine finally recovered enough to end the court and suggested they all move to her office to discuss this in private. They needed no rumors amongst the nobles right now, especially after the events of the Winter Palace.

As Vespera rose, Stephen took a step to her offering his arm.

However, Cullen stepped in front of him and did the same saying “Here my Love and allow me to escort you” and taking her arm, walked her around the shocked Stephen and into Josephine’s office.

As soon as the door shut there was shouting. Suddenly all the confidence she felt left and the girl terrified of her Father returned. It was much easier to act confident looking over them, but with him close to her, it didn’t last. Cullen noticed the change too and was not amused.

“Sleeping with Guardsmen? I didn’t think you could go lower then throwing yourself at Templers, but obviously I was wrong. Lucky for you, Stephen already knows of your shame and low morals and still is willing to wed to unite our houses!” He roared.

Josephine could see Cullen was ready to introduce Vespera’s Father to his sword and knew this situation was almost ready to turn into a bloodbath. Something had to be done.

“Lord Trevelyan and Lord Moore, please, obviously this is a shock to everyone and no one here, nor either of you, I am sure wants a scene. I think perhaps with how late it is in the day, we should perhaps retire and let everyone get a good rest before this is discussed further. You have been traveling for days and I am sure are tired and could use a warm meal and bed.”

Everyone seemed to take a step back at her words and relax. Well Cullen was obviously not relaxed, she thought, but at least he didn’t look like he would kill anyone right this second either.

“Yes Josephine” Vespera said quietly "that's an excellent idea. Please see they have everything they need and we will discuss it in the morning.”

She turned to leave and felt Cullen’s hand on her arm. She looked up in those amber eyes of his she loved and told him she needed a bit of time alone. He searched her eyes for a few minutes and noticed the hallow look was back. They were blank and that scared him. He nodded to her and wondered how angry she would be if he just killed these men now and be done with them forever.

It was after midnight as he slowly entered her room. He knew he should probably give her time, but the pain he knew she must have been in was killing him. He also admitted to himself that a small part of him was scared she would go through with her Father’s wishes. He couldn’t lose her and wondered if she felt the same. He looked at the empty bed and was scared. She was nowhere in it. He had waited in the hall, drinking with Varric, and knew she had not come down since retiring. Where was she?

Going to her room he heard the quiet sobs from the balcony over her bed.She hadn't slept up there for some time now. Cullen told her that while a bed roll on hard ground was acceptable when they were out in the field, he was not sleeping on the ground when there was a huge soft bed in her room. She had laughed and slept there, or in his bed, since then.

“Vespera?” he called to her quietly, not wanting to frighten her.

As soon as she heard him, she jumped down from the balcony and ran to his arms. Cullen. Her strength. Her heart. The man who gave her confidence, gave her love and most of all, he gave her him.

“Oh Maker, Cullen, I was so scared I lost you” she buried her head in his chest and started weeping as she clung to him.

He picked her up in his arms and cradled her to him. She was small and light in his arms which always surprised him when he knew she could bash him to the ground in the training ring. Varric may have named her Nixi, but to him she was Spitfire.

“Even if the Maker himself stood before me and condemned to the darkest pit of Demons ever created you would never lose me. No one alive, in the Fade or any other plane of existence could get me away from you Vespera!”

She felt him quiver as she held him and looking up was shocked to see his eyes filling with tears, tears that threatened to spill forth and run down his handsome face. The thought of such a strong and brave man crying over her and the possible loss of her astounded her. How could someone as wonderful as him love her? It would always amazed her.

“Vespera, I know you said…” he was cut off by her fingers brushing over his lips.

“Don’t tell me Cullen, show me” and with that she kissed him.

Cullen kissed her with everything he had. He crushed her to him and acted as if she was the very air he breathed and right now he couldn’t get enough. It was a hunger she had never experienced with him. Cullen had always been a tender lover with her. Slow touches and passionate kisses filled their nights, but this was something more. Releasing her for a moment, he stepped back and looked at her. She was wearing a basic sleeveless cotton gown that fell to the floor. With a lustful glance to her eyes, he stepped forward and ripped the gown in half and let it fall to the ground. Picking her up again he carried her to the bed and almost tore his own clothing from his body as well. He then attacked her with a passion that she never dreamed was possible. His hands roamed her body. She felt like he was touching her everywhere. She arched herself against him when his hand moved to stroke her between her legs. His touch made her soar as he stroked her passion higher. His tongue taunted her already hard nipples and more. Then he was in her, moving with deep thrusts that made her feel weak, yet amazing. He told her he loved her. Told her he would be the one to marry her. Told her he wanted to see her ripen with his child. Told her no one would ever steal her from him and he would kill any man who tried. Most of all he told her he had fallen in love with her the first time he saw her and that he would die without her.

Afterwards they lay contently in each other’s arms caressing and talking.

“Cullen” she said quietly “what do we do?”

“Hmmm get ready for round two?” he said as he kissed her

“Cullen, seriously, what do we do about my Father?”

“We could run off together tonight…of course Cassandra would find us and kill me and only keep you alive until after the breech is closed” he chuckled

“Or I could just deny you sex until you answered me seriously…no that would mean I never get laid again”

He laughed. She had such a wicked humor. He almost didn’t recognize her sometimes as the woman he met in Haven. She was so much more confident now and she joked around more and not just with him, but to everyone. She was so vibrant and full of life now. Varric had teased him and told him if her sleeping with him had this much change in her, then maybe they should offer him up to Corypheus and teach the Darkspawn to show a little love. He had been embarrassed at first by all the teasing, but now he didn’t mind. Mostly he knew that if he had made a change in her, she certainly had made one in him. He knew he smiled more and laughed with others. He would celebrate with them in the tavern whenever they achieved a victory now. He trained two assistants to help him so that he didn’t read reports and plan battles for days on end. He even wrote his Sister more often since Vespera and given him hell over it. She told him her half brother and sisters were strangers to her and she would have killed to have had even one of them care a bit as a child. She would have loved to have a sibling to be close with. So much to Mia’s shock, he began getting regular letters from her brother. When he told her that it was Vespera who harassed him into writing more, she wrote back saying she truly believed the Herald was sent from the Maker, because it would take someone with the power of a God to convince him to write so often. All the good of who he was came from her.

“So what do you intend to do?” he asked

“I am not going to marry that man. I am done being a scared child. You know I use to think the whole Herald of Andraste thing was ridiculous, but since we have been together and watching your faith in the Maker and just all of it, well I know after Adamant that it was not Andraste in the rift with me and all, but you made me believe that maybe the Maker had a part in all of it. Not choosing me really, but making sure someone could close the rifts and stop Corypheus.”

Now she was rambling and she had to be confusing him, since she was obviously confusing herself. Flustered, she sighed.

“Vespera, listen to me. No matter what happens tomorrow I will always stand beside you and no one will force you to do anything.”

Getting up he walked over to the fire where a bottle of spiced cider was warming. It was a habit he had before going to bed to help relax and she enjoyed it as well.

Watching him walk around her room naked had to be one of the greatest views she ever could see. She loved watching his body move. As a warrior he had a gracefully way of moving honed from years of training. He saw her watching him as he turned around and actually blushed. It was charming to know after all the time they had spent together as lovers he would still blush when she stared at his naked body.

“Thank you Cullen” she said as he handed her a glass, before climbing into bed next to her “but you know we can’t afford a war with the free marches and Josephine would be upset...”

“Vespera, Josephine agrees with me. After you left and we got rid of those idiots Leliana, Cassandra, Josephine and I spoke about it. You know how Josephine feels about arranged marriages after falling for my Captain and him dueling for her hand. Leliana has always been a diehard romantic. Cassandra said if they thought for one moment he was taking you from the Inquisition, she would change his opinion quickly” he laughed “and you already know I’d kill them both to keep you safe.”

She smiled that dazzling smile of his that always made her heart leap when she saw it.

“I love you so much Cullen. I never believed in love until you.”

The snuggled in bed and finally fell asleep in each other’s arms, content they could face anything together. As they slept, they never heard the noise of someone climbing down from the balcony outside.

Cullen woke up alone in Vespera’s bed. He was hoping to have a quick romp like they did most mornings when they slept in the same bed and was a bit disappointed. Sighing, he got up and went to the chest he kept his clothing in when he stayed in her room. While everyone knew they were together as a couple, they maintained separate rooms encase one needed some time alone. But both had a chest of clothing in each others room for the nights they did spend together. Dressing in a linen shirt, leather pants and leather bracers he also added his leather training style chest plate too. Normally he didn’t wear a sword except during her judgment hearings, however he decided with their guests here, he would keep it on just encase they decided to not play nice. Smiling at the thought of running through her Father and hopefully Stephen too, he left her room.

“Cullen, Cullen!” Cassandra yelled with Leliana close behind.

“Whoa Cassandra, someone die? Like Vespera’s Father” he laughed “please make me happy and tell me the my prayers were answered last night”

“Cullen” Leliana said slowly, now worrying Cullen “Vespera was taken this morning”

Cullen felt rage consume him “What do you mean taken?”

“We found a ladder outside her balcony and Lord Trevelyan and Lord Moore are gone and no one has seen Vespera”

“I was with her last night. I just got up out of bed a few minutes ago. No one could have taken her”

“Let’s go have a look” Leliana said as everyone followed her to Vespera’s room.

Leliana noticed the glasses on the floor by the bed and asked about them.

“We like to share spiced cider warm before going to bed sometimes. It is a habit of mine and she kind of picked it up”

Leliana went to the bottle still sitting on the hearth and smelled it.

“It was drugged Commander, they obviously got in prior to you arriving or they bribed someone”

Cullen was near violence as he took off to the kitchen. Only one girl was ever allowed in her rooms to clean or anything else Vespera needed since she was very uncomfortable with strangers. If anyone was in her room, either Mary did it or helped someone. Finding her in the kitchens, Cullen was having a hard time focusing. If she had betrayed them…he didn’t know what he would do.

“Mary” he said harshly.

“C c c Comander Cullen” she stuttered.

He knew instantly she was involved, Maker help him not hurt her. Leliana however pushed past him to question the girl.

“Mary, you are not in trouble, just tell us why and where they are taking her.”

She smiled while trying to get the girl to focus on her and not Cullen who looked like he would snap and kill something.

“ I..I’m sorry. They knew who I was and told me if I didn’t take this bottle that the Lord had and take it to her room they were going to kill my Mother. I am so sorry, I love Vespera, she has been so kind to me, but I couldn’t let my Mom be hurt.” And she started crying.

Cullen put a hand on her shoulder and spoke quietly, trying not to frighten her more.

“Do you know where they are taking her Mary?” then he added “and you were right to protect your Mother Mary. Vespera would also say the same.”

“I don’t know Commander; I only heard them saying something about finding a Chantry as quickly as possible.”

“Makers Fist!” he swore “They are going to try to trap her and give her no wait out.”

“If they knew what your habits were at night, they had to have a spy in the keep for some time now” Leliana mused “we need to find him”

“Quickly” Cullen added “and they best pray she is not hurt or I will make them suffer more than any being has ever suffered in this world”


	5. Inquisitor Reborn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vespera has been captured and Cullen will stop at nothing to find her. Will she be forced into a life of misery once more or will she finally find peace and enjoy a life of true love with Cullen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter in Vespera's story. It goes more into the background of violence she endured as a child and how Evil her Father's crimes really were. While it is much implied and not to graphic it does deal with a very dark subject. It such offends you, please do not read.

Vespera was angry and for the first time ever, she was not afraid of her Father either. Part of her was worried over what they might have done to Cullen when they took her and the other part was going to kill him if he was harmed while taking her.

They had told her they drugged them both and that was how they took her without alerting anyone. She also had over heard them talking about how their brilliant plan was to marry her off to Stephen and then take control of the Inquisition and essentially control the world. Idiots she thought, as if Cullen, Cassandra and the rest would hand over control to them. She had told them such when she finally had the gag removed from her mouth. They had only laughed and said her idle threats were not convincing and everyone knew a husband controlled what his wife owned.

She was shocked when she learned she had been gone for 4 days already and hurt knowing what Cullen must have been feeling too. She could see him pacing, as he always did when upset, threatening to kill someone if they didn’t find her soon. She smiled at the thought. Cullen would never allow them to carry out this ridiculous plan of theirs. They told her no one could find them and she had laughed in their face. Anyone who thought they could evade Leliana’s network and hide was seriously deluded. She would find her and when she did, they had best make their peace with the Maker, because Cullen would send them both to him. That is if she didn’t get to them first. They were stopped to camp for the night on their way back to Ostwick. Why they headed there amazed her as it would be the obvious place to look. But at least their predictability gave her friends and her love an easier time finding them.

“I say let me bed her now and try to get a child on her, then the Chantry would not hesitate for a minute to allow the marriage. Tell them she was pregnant by her lover, not a large deception, and that knowing so I still planned to marry her since I loved her.”

Stephan, I am going to gut you myself she thought.

“It’s a good idea” her Father said and she felt her stomach drop. “Take her and do your duty my soon to be son in law”

Vespera was going to be sick. While Cullen was not the first man she had known thanks to her Father and others, he was the only one she planned to be with ever again. Which made her worry, if Stephan did what he said, would Cullen still want her? She knew Cullen wouldn’t blame her if Stephan raped her, but could he welcome her back if he knew she had been with him? She had to do something to stop him.

“My lords, I feel like I will be sick, do you want a puking woman in bed?” and actually found herself dry heaving which added to the effect.

“Put her on her stomach, if she pukes, it won’t be on you at least” he Father laughed.

What can I do she thought? She watched as Stephan grinned as he came closer. With her hands and feet tied, she couldn’t exactly fight him. For the first time since she was a child, she prayed to the Maker. Please help her escape them. For the first time ever she was happy with life. She had friends and she had Cullen. He was so much more than she ever thought she could have in this life. She also reasoned that even if the Maker didn’t care about her, Cullen was a faithful Andrastian and he would be devastated. The Maker couldn’t be so cruel to someone like him would he? But old doubts lingered and she wondered if this wasn’t the Maker’s plan to get someone as tainted as her away from someone as good and devote as Cullen. On the tail of that she wondered if maybe she should allow it to happen and then Cullen could move on and find someone worthy of him. She would never allow them to hurt the Inquisition and she would fight to stay alive because only she could close the rifts and stop Corypheus from destroying this world. Whether she deserved any happiness in it didn’t matter, she had come to care for her friends and loved Cullen more than she ever thought possible and she would not fail them and deprive them of a better world.

Lost in her thoughts she didn’t see or feel Stephen before he hauled her over his shoulder and carried her to his tent. She heard her Father laughing with his troops. Talking about that if Stephen didn’t mind, he would allow them all a go before they reached home.

Cullen pushed his horse harder. Leliana’s network had found their enemies group moving along the Storm coast, obviously heading to Ostwick. But it had taken almost a week before their trail was found. Cullen’s mood had turned so foul that no one spoke to him and generally stayed away. He trained around the clock and the blacksmith finally said he was not repairing anymore practice dummies for the man. Finally word came and Cassandra, Leliana, himself and close to 100 soldiers tracked them with haste. Everyone was on edge and tired, but Cullen refused to slow his pace.

“Rest if you need too” he told them”but I will not allow them more time to get further away from us”

So they followed him in pace, hoping they found her soon before he killed their horses and them as well, with his mad pace.

Cullen could not think straight as he rode. If they hurt her he would cut them all down. She had finally one night, after a nightmare that woke in tears, about the extent of her abuse as a child. He didn’t think Leliana’s report missed anything, but he found out it did. In fact it did a lot. He had held her as she cried and told him of her Father’s abuse, first physically and later far worse. He listened about how her Father had locked her away, not because of offending his young bride as he told people, was so he could have access to her and her bed whenever he wanted. She told him how Ser Philip had brought her home and claimed she was crawling into his bed. However once he saw her Father was a “understanding sort about women” the two men escorted her to her rooms and her Father allowed Ser Philip a key to visit and try to “teach her enlightenment” whenever he wanted. Cullen had never in his life wanted to brutally murder another Templar as much as he did this Ser Philip and he wanted to reserve her Father a special place in the deepest parts of hell.

It had started to rain and Cassandra had caught up with him to say they would stop. She told him he either stopped too, as well as rest his horse or the beast would die under him and he couldn’t well catch her on foot. The choice was his. Growling he agreed, but only for 4 hours. In the end Cassandra got 6.

He made his tent and lay inside awake as those around him slept deeply. He heard the watchmen who rotated a new man each hour, allowing all 6 to have 5 hrs to rest as well and felt a small piece of guilt over how ragged he was running his friends as well as his troops, but he reasoned that every minute Vespera was gone was a another minute they would have no way to close the rifts or stop Corypheus.

He listened to the rain hitting his tent and slowly rolled his sleeve back to show the red ribbon wrapped around his wrist. She used to wear it often and one time when he had to leave the keep without her, she pulled it from her hair and gave it to him. She told him that it was a custom for any woman who loved a Knight to give him a ribbon or scarf to carry as a favor into battle, so he would know his Lady loved him and waited for him. It had smelled like her and he had placed it around his wrist and under his braces so it would always touch his skin. He had been gone almost a full month that time and when he returned, she was running to him in a scarlet dress that showed off her pale skin and ebony hair perfectly. He remembered her smile and he reached down and pulled her up on his horse to kiss her firmly as his troops cheered him. Later she told him she was shocked he did such in front of his men, but he laughed and said he would shout it from the walls that he loved her if she asked him too. She was his world now and he would not lose her, he couldn’t.

Vespera woke with a aching heard. She vaguely remembered her so called husband to be knocking her in his tent. How long ago did it happen she wondered. She hurt so much she couldn’t move. Then she realized something horrible. If he knocked her out in his tent, it meant he had indeed raped her. She started to vomit.

It was then she realized she was draped over someone’s lap on a horse. She was thrown off to her knees as she continued to be sick. She heard her Father laughing in the background with his men.

“She acts like she was already with child Stephen!”

She turned her head enough to see an unhappy look on Stephen’s face. What was that about she wondered? She wanted to die. She knew she had to live to help stop the madness of Corypheus, but seeing him watch her and hearing her Father and his men laugh as she was sick, she didn’t want to fight or live. She was felt already dead. Hauling her back up in front of him to sit, Stephan held her tightly.

“You were quite the prize last night my dear” he whispered in her ear” I should send a letter of thanks to your lover, he obviously trained you well.”

She felt the tears hit her check and once more passed out.

Cullen surveyed the campsite. Leliana’s best tracker looked at him and said they were maybe a day behind or less.

“If we push ourselves a bit harder, we will gain them before nightfall.”

For the first time since she was taken, Cullen smiled. She was awake again and sick as well. Was the Maker hearing her and letting her die? She could only pray.

“Edmond, I am beginning to worry a bit. She is unconscious almost all the time and getting paler and sicker too. Should we try to find a healer?”

“She was always dramatic as a child and often pretended to be sick. She is trying to get out of wifely duty” the old man laughed” but thankfully you don’t care!”

She didn’t know how much more she could handle. She felt herself getting ill again and once more dry heaved until she was in tears. How many times had she been raped by Stephen? She didn’t even know how long she had been gone from Skyhold either. She woke up to noise that sounded like fighting. Was she dreaming while awake too? She looked around in a haze, Stephen was missing? Then she heard the tent tore open. She tried to turn and look. Who was coming in? She tried to keep her eyes open but couldn’t. As she lost consciousness she swore she heard Cullen saying her name.

She slowly opened her eyes. Where was she now? Not in a tent and shivered, was she in her Father’s house? Or worse was it Stephen’s? She heard some cry out she was awake. She felt weird, but a bit better than before. Slowly her eyes adjusted and she saw she was in her room at Skyhold. What was going on? Then she saw him. Cullen was sitting on the bed with tears in his eyes. He was so handsome she thought.

“Finally you’re awake. You had me scared, you really had me scared I might lose you” and with that pulled her into his arms.

She tried to pull away. How could he want to touch her? She was not worthy of him, more now than ever before. She had known another man since him. Maybe he didn’t know?

“Cullen, please stop touching me. I am unclean and not worthy anymore.” And she tried pulling away again.

He knew instantly what she meant. So he let go and looked her in the eyes.

“Listen to me you silly woman. First, had what happen that you think did, I wouldn’t care. Love means you accept that if the one you loved was harmed you sure in the Maker’s name do not hold it against them. However, they never touched you.”He saw her start to argue and went on” You fell ill from the herbs they put in our cider. I felt like merry hell, but I am almost 3 times your size, so it just made my gut as angry as my mind” he laughed” but thank the Maker, Stephen seemed to not find puking and passing out woman interesting and left you alone. I know you’re going to argue, but I guess he was afraid of losing face to your Father and pretended he did. Before you say he was lying to me, believe me, I fell short of killing the man with my fists when he confessed you hadn’t been touched. Now kiss me you crazy woman and show me you missed me as much as I you.”

She knew she was crying, which seemed right since he was crying too. Slowly she heard others coming in and felt happiness all around her once more.

Two months later, Vespera once more saw her Father for the last time. She sat on her throne in Skyhold and looked down on the man who tried to ruin her all her life. He looked older, but she smiled thinking the past few months sitting in the dungeons with Stephen probably didn’t help either of their looks.

She was holding the hand of her Husband who stood beside her. Cullen had insisted they marry so that no one could even try something so stupid again. Now that Corypheus was defeated and few rifts were left, she agreed. They had decided also it was time to deal with her Father once and for all and be done with that life forever.

She looked up at Cullen as he squeezed her hand and smiled at him. She had horrible nightmares after he found her and couldn’t handle him sleeping in bed with her. So each night he would sleep on her couch so he could be there when she woke up in terror. Finally she realized how cruel she was to make him sleep on a couch obviously too small for him and welcomed once more into her bed never to have him leave it again. They also learned that their first night together in the desert left them with a special treasure, she was with child. The midwife was shocked that with the drugged wine and abuse while captured, not to mention the finally battle with Corypheus, hadn’t caused her to lose it. Cullen only grinned and told her she was tough like her Mama who amazed him daily. Life was finally good.

She looked again at her Father. She couldn’t understand his sickness and on some level didn’t want to either. She laid her hand on her belly that was now showing and thought about how different things would be for her child. Cullen would be better than any Father could ever be and she loved him all the more for it.

“Do you have anything to say Father?” she asked the man on his knees in front of her.

“Nothing to the likes of you he sneered. I did as my right as your Father.”

Part of her wanted to point out about his unnatural desires of his daughter when she was younger, but it was in the pass and finally that thought didn’t bother her anymore.

“Then while I was given permission to execute you, I decided against it. Both you and Stephen will be turned over to the authorities of Ostwick and am told you will be forced into the quarry mines for life. On a show of gratitude from the Inquisition, we have made arrangement for the quarry to supply us with stone for our ongoing repairs. I find great pleasure, as well as my husband, that your hard work with help build the nursery wing” she added with a smile.

She watched as they were hauled away and looked up at Cullen. He smiled and said he loved her.

“I love you too my Knight” she grinned” thank you for taking a broken life and making a perfect future”

“I did, didn’t I?” he laughed.

Once more she smiled and thought of how lucky she really was.


End file.
